Archive Notes: This is an English translation and rewritten version of a blog post originally published in Japanese on October 15, 2019. [Japanese version]
I visited the hospital around 2:00 PM again today.
These days, I usually go by myself.
When I arrived at the room, none of the nurses were around because they were having a meeting at the station. Since there was nothing else to do, I stood by my mother’s bed as she slept and waited for them to finish.
That’s when I noticed a foul odor around the bed. But with no staff in sight, there was nothing I could do except wait it out. Luckily, my mom’s bed is right next to the window, which was opened about 8 inches, so that was a huge relief!
After about 20 minutes, the meeting seemed to wrap up. A nurse—who seemed to be in charge today—came over to me with a warm smile.
“Shall we take care of things together today too?” she said kindly.
Every time I visit, the nurse on duty is different. So my mind always starts racing before I even step in: Who will it be today? I hope they’re gentle and patient…
As I had guessed from the moment I arrived, my mom had had a bowel movement, and changing her diaper was quite a challenge. Even the experienced nurse admitted with a laugh, “Whoa, today is a big one!”
The supplies provided by the hospital are pretty limited, which makes these situations even trickier. I couldn’t help but think how much easier things would be if we had dedicated wet wipes for cleaning her up. The nurse mentioned we could bring our own, so I decided to pack some for tomorrow. Since I have a baby at home, we have plenty of wipes stocked up anyway!
I was also trained on how to use the phlegm suction machine today. Since her tube feeding through the nose was already done for the day, I learned how to flush it with a small amount of water instead. Today was my second official “lesson.”
I’m starting to get the hang of it!
The nurse kept encouraging me, saying, “You’re doing great!” A little praise really goes a long way in easing my tension.
Actually trying these hands-on tasks makes me feel even more confident about my decision to bring her back home—in more ways than one.
I know it’s going to be a tough journey with plenty of challenges ahead. But right now, what I really need to focus on isn’t the hardship, but the positive side of things.
I’ve started to feel that it’s always better to act than to worry in advance. If I don’t hold onto that mindset, I won’t be able to get through the overwhelming feelings of “right now.” The truth is, I’m still terrified about what lies ahead.
After spending about an hour and a half at the hospital, I finally headed home.
As I was riding my bicycle back and got close to my house, my care manager called me. She told me that a home visit nurse had been found! Starting tomorrow, the nursing staff will contact me directly to discuss the details. It really feels like we are moving forward—one small step at a time.
On another note, the Wi-Fi range extender I ordered from Amazon arrived today!
Since I’ll be spending most of my days next door at my parents’ house, I wanted to extend our home Wi-Fi signal over there. I noticed that if I stood right by the kitchen window in my parents’ house, I could barely catch one weak bar of Wi-Fi. So, taking a gamble, I decided to set up the extender right by that window.
And guess what? It picked up the signal perfectly, giving us full bars!
It didn’t connect on the first attempt, so when it finally worked, my daughter and I gave each other a high five! The manual claimed all you had to do was press the WPS button, but that wasn’t enough to get it running. The instruction manual was definitely a bit unfriendly!
As I was tweaking the settings, my dad—who is completely clueless when it comes to technology—walked up and asked, “What’s that?”
I tried explaining: “Well, you see, the internet signal… the wireless Wi-Fi… it was weak, so this device boosts the radio waves…”
He just looked at me, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t understand a single word! (Not that I expected him to!)
Now I have a massive checklist of things to buy for home care: nursing pajamas, diapers, alcohol wipes, suction tubes, disposable gloves, and so on. My Amazon Wishlist is quickly being taken over by caregiving supplies!
I’m planning to buy these items, but to be honest, it’s hard to tell what’s actually good just from reading online reviews. Since Amazon offers free returns, I figured I might as well just order them and see. Amazon is honestly a lifesaver right now.
And amidst all this hustle, today happened to be my mother’s 87th birthday.
