Archive Notes: This is an English translation and rewritten version of a blog post originally published in Japanese on September 24, 2019. [Japanese version]
Last night, exhausted from a lack of sleep, I finally went to bed around 11:00 PM.
However, I woke up around 4:00 AM.
Even though I tried to go back to sleep after that, I just couldn’t settle down.
I think I tossed and turned for over an hour like that.
But knowing I wouldn’t have enough energy for the day without rest, I stayed lying down, and eventually, I managed to doze off again.
The red parts of the graph indicate awake periods, showing that I was dozing lightly between 4:30 AM and 6:00 AM.
As I lingered in bed feeling sluggish, it quickly became time to go check on my dad.
All of my own morning routines had to be put on hold.
And although I managed to put out the trash at my dad’s house, I missed the collection time at my own place and couldn’t get mine out in time. >_<
Just as I thought, “Alright! I need to quickly take out the trash!”, I got a phone call from the care manager.
While I was dealing with that, the garbage truck passed right by.
My daughter had been over with her children since 9:00 AM, and taking care of 11-month-old Riona also took up plenty of time without mercy.
That was because we had agreed to go to the hospital together, picking up my mother’s younger sisters at the nearest station in my daughter’s car.
Fortunately, Mom had been transferred out of the SCU (Stroke Care Unit) where she was first admitted, so children were allowed in the room.
Since Yuina is 4 years old (turning 5 next month), she stays quiet when we explain things to her properly.
As usual, we got lost inside the hospital before finally reaching her room (lol).
A total of four adults and two children gathered around my mother, who remained completely motionless.
I had brought extra towels and bath towels with me, so I asked a nurse where the lockers were, stored them away, and came home for the day.
We had a family parking card issued at the guardhouse, so today’s fee was only 300 yen.
From tomorrow on, I’ll go by bicycle.
We took my aunts back to my father’s house, spent some time chatting there, and then disbanded. I returned home to prepare dinner.
No matter what I’m doing, I can’t leave my smartphone even for a moment.
Even when I take a bath, I place it near the entrance.
You never know when an emergency call might come from the hospital.
In the evening, before my daughter and her kids went home, the four of us visited my dad’s place once more.
Yuina said she wanted to play Old Maid with playing cards, so the four of us played together with my dad (lol).
My dad, who has lingering paralysis in his right hand and finds it difficult to hold cards, said “Shall we do it then?” and came out of his room. I was deeply surprised from the bottom of my heart.
The power of Yuina’s effect is truly amazing!
In times like this, the innocent smile of a child is the greatest comfort.
When my aunts came over, my dad confessed, “It feels lonely and creepy being all by myself at night.”
He added, “Even when she (my mom) was here, she couldn’t really do anything, but still…”
After all, going from living together with two people to suddenly being alone brings a real sense of loneliness.
It took me quite a while to get used to being alone, too.
However, once you get used to it, you become fine.
From now on, we have to gradually shift our daily rhythm toward a life without Mom present.
While keeping my own physical condition in mind, my top priority right now is taking care of my dad, who is now living on his own.
