I went to bed around 2:30 AM last night, but I struggled to fall asleep.
The events of yesterday were just too shocking, making it impossible to rest.
Even as I kept telling myself I must not oversleep, I ended up waking up around 4:00 AM anyway.
Perhaps due to the sheer tension, I felt like I was going to the restroom once every hour after returning from the hospital yesterday.
Hardly anything would come out, yet I kept feeling the urge.
It really made me realize how deeply connected the mind and body truly are.
Usually, I don’t need to go for four or five hours, and I never have to wake up in the middle of the night.
Today, we headed to the hospital again, with my father riding in my son’s car.
We had to bring several items that became necessary for her hospitalization.
As instructed yesterday, we navigated our way with some difficulty to the SCU on the 3rd floor. However, we were told that she was just about to be moved to a bed on the 8th floor at 3:00 PM, so we were asked to wait in the lounge on the 8th floor.
The wait from there felt incredibly long!
We ended up waiting for nearly an hour before we were finally allowed to see her.
Our timing was just unfortunate.
Even though she moved to the 8th floor, it is still an SCU located within the general ward, and her condition remains unchanged from yesterday.
However, compared to the 3rd floor, the restrictions are slightly more relaxed, and the visiting hours are longer, from 12:00 to 20:00.
There seem to be no strict rules like limiting visits to just 10 minutes, restricting visitors to three people, or turning off cell phones completely.
I forgot to check whether children are allowed in the room, though.
She only breathes on her own about two or three times a minute, so she is connected to a ventilator.
However, they explained that it is set up in a way that does not interfere with those few spontaneous breaths she does take.
It is heartbreaking just to look at her, lying there flat on her back.
If there is no hope of recovery, I find myself wishing she could just be set free from this pain and allowed to rest in peace.
Even though it was a visit, since I couldn’t actually talk with my mother, we spent the entire time speaking with her primary nurse.
Tomorrow, I’ve decided to bring my mother’s younger sister to see her.
Brain diseases are truly terrifying.
In a single instant, they strip away every human function.
Why do people have to suffer from cerebral infarctions or hemorrhages? In my mother’s case, she never had a habit of drinking or smoking.
So, I suppose it ultimately comes down to diet and exercise.
While exercising is relatively easy, continuing to eat healthy foods every single day is difficult.
It’s hard, but it’s something we just have to do.
I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
I really hope I can.
